So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize