i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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