i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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