**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
