so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
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want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
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He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?