I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?