dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.