She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
