I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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