At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
