i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
