chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
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