Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
