Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
