Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Randomize
