I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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