you guys were way drunker than both of me
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
