I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
