Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
