i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
