Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
