How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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