i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
This house was built for laser tag.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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