I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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