it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
