you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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