Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
