That's intense
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
