Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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