The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize