The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
