Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Drake has all the answers
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
