So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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