Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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