I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
