sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
