I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
