seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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