Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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