i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
