you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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