Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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