Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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