Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
