I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
