pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
