I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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