I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Michael Bay diarrhea
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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