You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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