**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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