kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
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