You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
