Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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