I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
