U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
