your parents love me but you hate me
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize