Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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