I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
