If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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