We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
