Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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