well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
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Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
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gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
and you fell through a lawn chair
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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