glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
i think my cat just said my name.
Randomize
