I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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